JOMO – Joy of Missing Out

When I was younger I think I may have invented FOMO (Fear of missing out) seriously I would NEVER miss a night out. I remember there being this huge farewell party at this pub we drank at for years as the owner had sold the place, not one to be missed. Sadly, I got some sort of virus, was that stopping me? NO! I went. I remember sitting in the corner of this ridiculously packed pub and I thought I was dying. It was so hot in the place there was condensation pouring down the windows, and there’s me sitting there with about 5 coats covering me, freezing my backside off. I eventually got sent home, crying my eyes out because I didn’t want to go. I still to this day don’t know if I missed the party of the century but I think I probably did.

Fast forward some years and oh my god I have no idea who that girl was, I don’t know where the time, energy, money or inclination even came from. I actually get excited now to buy new house “loungewear”. All I ever want is to be at home! Only yesterday I told my husband that if he needed ideas for a birthday present for me I’d seen a new nightshirt! lol

See if you are successful in getting me to come to a night out you need a bloody gold medal. Unfortunately I think people take it personally and that I do understand. If I was constantly trying to meet up with somebody who couldn’t be arsed then I’d tell them to hit the road too.

But why do people feel the need to have an excuse for not wanting to go out? I’m the world’s worst for feeling like I need to have a valid reason. I was just having a conversation with my friend about this and she said “I remember when we first became friends and Sharon said Louise will ALWAYS understand if you cancel and I remember being so grateful” and that means a lot to me.

Another good friend and I will plan a night out but by the time it comes around usually one of us can’t be overly bothered. So, we just say “I can’t be bothered, just gonna chill tonight” and the other will accept that. Of course there are times when I might be disappointed but there will be other nights out. The main thing is neither of us takes this as a reflection on the strength of our friendships. We know we are really close and we can call on each other for anything just sometimes after a hard week and if our mental health isn’t doing so well going to your bed stupidly early and watching X Factor is the better option.

I have to take my bipolar medication around the same time every night. These help me sleep but if I’m on a night out I will end up taking them much later and this just completely messes me up. I know people will say “come home from your night out early” or “just don’t have a drink” but deep down I’m still the girl with the FOMO who always gets carried away, takes it a little bit too far when she’s out and whose motto used to be “What’s the first rule off peer pressure… always say YES”

But when I got diagnosed with Bipolar a few years ago I knew I had to make some lifestyle changes and being home at a sensible time or not even going out at all are two of the most important ones. Sadly, I just can’t help shake the feeling that I’m letting people down if I don’t have an excuse or by being stupid enough to even agree to go out in the first place. If I do go and it’s a little but further afield I can become a little bit anxious and start to fret about not being home. I know I harp on about my mental health a lot but I think people forget about it at times and don’t realise how much I have to do to regulate it.

I don’t like using it as an excuse but it’s not an excuse, it’s the truth.

Ldizzy xx

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